Cooking in a mood
- 3 days ago
- 6 min read
"Cooking is sorcery. Some days we desperately need its magic."
Bim Adewunmi/The Guardian
'In a mood'. When we say that, we generally mean in a bad mood of some kind, not a good one - but the phrase technically belongs to both.
This post is 'inspired' if that's the right word - 'stimulated' is probably more accurate - by a sad text conversation with a friend going through a bad time who in the course of the conversation said:
"the process of cooking will occupy my scattered - bruised mind. Probably another reason I like cooking - a meditative experience even if it results in failure sometimes. It's the process. Sadly life's not like that you can't dump it all in the bin if it fails or can you??"
An aside - the painting that more or less captured the, hopefully 'before' feeling of sadness, despair even - is by Chaïm Soutine and is called The Little Pastry Cook of Cagnes. And that red beneath his hands, is not blood - but a tea towel which is also featured in another portrait of the same young boy. I suppose it's rather an ugly and distorted painting, but so expressively arresting. Although possibly not what you would like on your kitchen wall.
I feel a little bad about quoting my friend's words, but I just thought they were so apposite to how we who like to cook often find solace in our kitchens. And that last question is a really good one. I could add, that perhaps one shouldn't dump one's cooking failures into the bin, but eat them anyway - or at least the part that can be eaten - and work out what went wrong and how you can avoid it next time. Ditto for life. Learn from falling for the wrong guy what to look out for in the right one - one of my youthful 'tragedies', which, of course, turned out not to be a tragedy at all, just a story of the 'once upon a time' kind. At the time it was tragedy.
Back to the kitchen however. My friend's words reminded me of an article that Rachel Roddy had written to illustrate her recipe for Lentil and mushroom ragù - Rachel Roddy
She tells the story from long ago of some kind of party, at which an annoying woman told her that:
"If you cook in a bad mood, the bad mood will season your food ... which she followed up by telling us that, even on the worst of days, she cooked only with love and passion. Kicking her would have been the grown-up thing to do, rather than trying to come up with a reply, which didn’t actually come to mind until the next day."
The right reply never comes to mind at the right time does it?
But like all those bad stories from our past, she remembers the woman:
"Especially when I am in a bad mood and cooking – a regular occurrence in everyday life. As I chop onions aggressively, or rip the bag of dried mushrooms badly, so it doesn’t open. As I rip it for the second time, so they fall out, there she is in her silk shirt the colour of my loathing, leaning against the fridge. Cook with love, she says, as I soak 20g dried mushrooms in 200ml warm water for 30 minutes. Piss off, I reply as I lift them out, chop and set aside."
The ghost of this woman however, is exorcised, because when the meal is finished and placed on the table:
"Taste and tell the woman she is wrong: lentil and mushroom ragù cooked in a bad mood is the most delicious thing in the world."
For me cooking in a bad mood - whether angry or sad - is a cure for the mood. A walk is too by the way. For others it might be time spent in the garden, or escaping to another world by reading a book, painting, sewing, carpentry, bashing those boxing bags really hard ... We all have something to get rid of the anger or the grief - well we should.
The process of cooking is magnificent in so many ways. If you are angry you can bash a piece of meat, crush garlic and move food around in a hot pan in a furtious way as it spits and sizzles, mirroring your mood. If you are sad you can cry tears as you slice onions, or soothe yourself by dreamily stirring a risotto or a sauce. Breathe in scents that may take you back to happier times - with your mother as she cooked you apple crumble, or a holiday in Provence, where the herbs and the pine trees scented the air. We all have our different notions of what comfort - as expressed in food is:
"True comfort food isn’t sticky toffee pudding on a cosy night in, or sausages and mash on a crisp cold night. It’s the deeply personal flavours and textures you turn to when life has punched you in the gut. Comfort food should really be called trauma food. It’s what you cook and eat to remind you you’re alive when you are not entirely sure this is true." Bee Wilson/The Guardian
Moreover at the end you have created something that you can eat with immense pleasure and pride whilst at the same time perhaps, giving pleasure to others as well.
So start thinking about what will cheer you up for dinner tonight, go to your fridge and make your selections - or rush to the shops to pick up an essential ingredient or two. Then switch off your brain and concentrate on the process of cooking something delicious, which will stop you from dwelling on your current bad mood - gradually perhaps - but when it's all done and you are sitting down to eat - take a deep breath in and enjoy. Maybe with a glass of wine. Though not too much of that.
POSTSCRIPT
Whilst in the supermarket today, fruitlessly looking for a smoked trout - where have they gone? - I decided to substitute smoked salmon. Having rummaged through what was on offer I chose this from Tassal - well it was on a special - only to have the lady who was also searching for smoked salmon tell me - in a friendly way - that she didn't buy anything Tassal. We asked whether it was because of all the environmental concerns - I do have them, and did indeed feel somewhat guilty. However, she said no it was the hormones they used, and that she was going to buy the Norwegian brand. To which I said - 'but they hunt whales'. 'But I'm not eating whales' she said. Which is as much a cop out as me buying salmon, of which, deep down, I ethically disapprove. Tassal is not even an Australian owned company now. We, all three smiled - and agreed that you just can't win.
As I said to her - you just can't win - and note the large 'Responsibly sourced' note at the bottom of the packet. Which is just not true in many people's eyes, and at least partly not true in others. Which demonstrates two things - one - as I said - 'you just can't win' and two - people do look at labels and do try to do the right thing. Although it has to be said that this is a middle-class area. Woolworths - which is where we were today - do not show on their website the reverse side of the packet with all the small print - as Coles mostly does on its website. But they don't sell this item. And when oh when is smoked trout from Goulburn Valley Trout going to reappear in the supermarket, or is it yet another small artisan provider dropped from large supermarkets because supply is too random?
YEARS GONE BY
August 7
2025 - Too young
2023 - The London Particular
2021 - Missing
2020 - Missing
2019 - Nothing
2018 - Nothing
2016 - The simplicity of perfection
Whew! Who would have thought that cooking was so loaded with pain! Ahhhhh! 😱