Does it matter how good the food is?

"Hell, it's only food.  Just enjoy it."  Jill Dupleix

This is my family - well most of them - on holiday four years ago, I have no idea what we were eating - probably some kind of barbecued meat and I'm sure it was at least good if not absolutely delicious. But really it wasn't what we are eating that was important, no matter how much thought and skill went into it. It was the pleasure of eating it together, chatting about this and that. Although, of course, that can sometimes descend into argument, particularly when you have a family full of people with definite opinions about everything. But even those occasions, although distressing, fade against the memory of the good times. And they are valuable too - they teach us how far we can go when expressing an opinion, perhaps ultimately becoming more tactful, more persuasive.

I mention this and am trying to expand upon it, because of an article I read in the AFR a week or so ago about the rise of takeaway food - in all it's forms - at home, which concluded with these words:

"As long as the food is great and high quality, I would say people don't particularly mind about the method. Getting around the table, sharing what happens at the end of the day over a meal without the stress, just adds so much joy to life."

Which I guess is not the quite the same thing as what I was trying to say in my first paragraph - it's the people you eat with not the food itself which is the best part, and the bit you remember. Which I have said many times before, and which is a central trope of the feel-good writing you see everywhere about eating together. Such as this:

"Sharing meals is the one of the best things we can do for our wellbeing, according to a report released last month. The World Happiness report 2025, based on a Gallup poll of more than 150,000 people from 142 countries and territories, found that people who dine alone have the lowest life evaluation rating globally compared with those who regularly share a meal, who are happier." Jenny Valentish/The Guardian

It's sort of a given really isn't it that families - and friends - eating together is good for the soul - as well as for an almost endless list of benefits ranging from scientific stuff about neurones and chemicals, to philosophical musings about community? And here we were exemplifying that in France several years ago now - a stunning house in a beautiful town, good friends from here and there, dinner in our landlord's beautiful hidden courtyard garden and excellent conversation - the highlight of the day. Paradise. Was the food of good quality? - oh yes, but it was home-cooked. Not takeaway. Would it have been as memorable if we had indeed bought in some takeaway? Not quite I suspect, but almost. And in fact dessert may well have been a bought pastry.

The importance of eating together at the end of the day is amply demonstrated in my house by how I and my husband grew up. In my house we all ate together and we talked. Mostly about trivia, but as my siblings and I grew into teenage it often descended into arguments about life, the universe and everything - as well as who was going to get the last roast potatoes. But in many ways it was a learning experience. And the food - although plain - was delicious - well we thought so anyway because we ate it all - hence the arguments over the roast potatoes.

My husband on the other hand, tells me they did not have a big table at which to eat, and no money to prepare a good meal either, and so there were no happy, or even argumentative family gatherings at the end of the day. Food was eaten at school - and quickly so that you could get seconds. Though surely there would have been lots of chat?

At university, meals were social gatherings, and lingered over, whilst we gossiped about who was going out with who, the books we were studying, and how much work we had to do, as well as much generalised chat which taught us all about each other.

Alas when we were young marrieds with growing children mealtimes were not quite as sociable - sometimes but not mostly, as dad was often absent - either late home from work or away and later the television was sometimes on the table - it was a small portable one - so that the daily news could be absorbed or the latest castastrophe in the Home and Away saga. I castigate myself for this, but I am indeed happy to say that my children today seem to view talking meaningfully at table to be a valued part of the day - somehow they understood this.

Going back to the AFR there are two more small things to be said.

First the whole takeaway thing and its rise and rise. Obviously there are a whole lot of issues, trends and so on to be said about this. But because the author of that statement said - "As long as the food is great and high quality, I would say people don't particularly mind about the method" - assuming that 'the method' applies to the fact that the food is cooked elsewhere - one would have to assume that the writer does not include the real fast food takeaways of the likes of McDonalds. Although wouldn't you be able to make a case for eating McDonalds around the family table as just as beneficial to the soul as an excellent Indian takeaway? It's the body that is suffering here, not the soul.

Secondly 'a meal without the stress,' implies that cooking is a real chore which adds stress. Maybe it does, and I'm sure we have all had those moments. Indeed I remember fairly often doing this after a day at work, driving my sons home from school, picking up chicken and chips from the shop at the entrance to Eltham, for dinner, because dad wasn't there, and my repertoire of meals to cook was limited because my sons were very picky and would only eat a few things. So I didn't fancy spaghetti bolognese yet again.

So what gives that end of the day meal joy? Is it the food, and maybe the joy of preparing it, or is it the company. And does it really not matter where the food comes from?

Personally I am not a fan of takeaway. But that's not to say that the food that you take away cannot be good - it might even be delicious. But if it's takeaway it is not fresh from the kitchen. It has journeyed in a car or on a bike, scooter or motorbike from that kitchen and so needs reviving somehow. Well that's what I think anyway. If I am eating a pizza or an Indian meal, then I would much rather go to the place that cooked it - assuming there are tables there and it's not just churning out takeaway food - sit down, relax and enjoy the experience of going out. Pizza especially it seems to me needs to be eaten straight from the oven, before it just goes gluey and doughy. It makes it that much more special to eat it in the place that it was cooked - however humble the place might be.

"Anyone who likes to eat, can soon learn to cook well." says Jane Grigson in her book Good Things, so yes, it is important to eat - for pleasure not just to stay alive. And it's therefore important to eat good food. Or does eating bad food make you want to learn to make it better?

Is the rise of UberEats and the like going to make us appreciate better food - after all good restaurants and cafés use them? Or is it going to make us give up cooking altogether.

Do you or anyone else have to cook at all to produce a good dinner or lunch?

Here is a scratch lunch produced by our friends a while ago. A lunch that proves that really you just have to be a good shopper - and storer. A good shopper will have a whole host of things in their fridge and on their pantry shelves, that will provide a substantial meal., without any cooking. And it doesn't take much more work to produce a cooked meal either. Beans on toast with some fancy things on top?

An omelette and a glass of wine? Maybe some good bread and butter, and a few leaves of dressed lettuce too. What could be more perfect than that, especially if it's eaten with friends - or just the one you love.

And you certainly wouldn't get an omelette from a take away.

YEARS GONE BY

April 14

2025 - National Geographic for millenials - in a foodie way?

2024 - Nothing

2023 - Italian yum cha

2022 - Scraps

2021 - Missing

2020 - Missing

2019 - Nothing

2018 - The way to a man's heart is through his stomach - really?

2017 - The Melbourne Food and Wine Festival